I Just Can't Do It All!!

"I just can't do it all!" I sobbed, yesterday morning. My patient husband listened with love as he prepared to go downstairs. He understood the feeling, and he promised to pray for me.

Just to give you some background, I am a Dad-labeled "Idealist" from the time I was a kid. (Is that kin to "Perfectionist"?) Anyhow, of course with two busy adults and three kids (16, 5 & 2), the house is never perfect ... and this fact bothers me. I love my husband and kids! But, I also love beauty and order!

Yesterday we were preparing to have a couple of our daughter's friends over for supper. I had given Amira, our exchange student/Filipina daughter a coupon for Valentine's Day. "This coupon entitles the receiver to choose a favorite meal, including dessert." She's been spending hours thinking and leafing through my cookbooks! She finally came up with some of her favorites for the meal: Tilapia almondine, rice, cherry pie salad, and dirt. Dirt cake that is ... complete with gummy worms. I know she loves veggies, so I was going to also make her favorite green bean casserole.

Also yesterday included a two year old ripping a favorite book of ours, poop on the carpet and cushion, five year old throwing away the two year old's cookie, etc. And dare I say, with my limited energies, interrupting children, dryer beeping, phone ringing, etc., attacking the dining room where everything had been thrown when I painted the rest of the downstairs seemed as daunting to me as a miniature "ground zero". Perhaps if you know that we are having a graduation reception here in our home in three weeks (about twelve years earlier than we thought we would) puts some perspective on my drama. And as all parents know, it is nearly impossible to get much done when little children are around: "Mommy" this and "Mom" that ... fighting, screaming, injuries... grrr.

Before Tim left our room yesterday morning, he asked, "But, are you doing what is most important?" I knew the answer, but clung to my heart's plea, "For whom?!?" I WANT a clean house! I WANT peace and quiet sometimes! I WANT beauty and order! But, I had to admit, "Yes" to doing the important stuff. Don't get me wrong, our house is not a complete disaster (well, except for that one room in the basement). I do keep up with the basics, usually, and the boys are learning to be part of the Skinner Team - keeping up the house together. Amira is a tremendous help, and Tim is very helpful when he can be.

The important stuff, of course, is spending time with God, with the children, playing a game with them between household tasks instead of sticking them in front of tv. Teaching them about God. Listening to Amira when she comes home from school. Taking time to push my boys on the swing for a little while every day. Teaching them how to put others first, how to ask for forgiveness, how to use the bathroom. Opening our home to others, no matter what condition is it in.  Loving God and our neighbors ... yep, important stuff!

No, I don't just sit around the house. I work hard. And I'm very grateful to God and Tim for making it possible for me to stay home, making my family priority. And this morning, God graciously reminded me of a few important things I kinda forgot (boy, am I like the Israelites a lot of times) ...

1. "I am the LORD your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy." Leviticus 11:44a
2. "In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth." Genesis 1:1

So, thank You, Lord, for reminding me this morning, "I CAN'T DO IT!" Any of it!! Without YOU. That is often where the frustration comes in ... when I forget this immovable truth. When I get proud of some accomplishments and despise my failings. Or, when I try to face the day without first seeking His face ... no wonder I stumble and bumble through the day.

God, the Creator of the universe, understands frustration. Can you and I imagine what He deals with all the time from us?!? From seeing us mess us His perfect plan, His perfect world, hurting His heart with our evil thoughts and actions?!

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:15-17

God is saying He is the guide, I am the follower. He is my Boss, I am the employee. He is the King, I am the servant. To know what He wants, I must seek His face every day, in His Word, and being sensitive to His Spirit leading. The temporal is important, but I reflect with humility on the story of Mary and Martha. And like someone said the other day, "The Proverbs 31 Woman did it ALL ... but not in one day!" I can do "IT" (what God wants me to do/what God requires of me) with HIS help. Just in case there is any doubt - HIS help. The One who created us and everything in this universe. Hmmm, then why do I even consider trying to do it on my own?

"Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, Your face, LORD, I will seek." Psalm 27:7-8

Yesterday, when Amira came home from school, I was not pretending to have everything under control. The poop on the floor was the last straw, and I carefully thought, (and the jury was unanimous), before I spurted out, "Amira, tonight we're having pizza!" We will save the fancy fish meal for an elderly neighbor's visit. Therefore, I will not be a candidate for the ER by the time the girls come!

Putting my weakness forward and admitting I can't do it all was refreshing. Thankfully she was accepting and agreed that pizza was more of a teenager food anyway (phew!). But, I did make the dirt cake - boy was it fun to see a Japanese and an Egyptian girl be handed a flower pot with a silk flower in "dirt"!  My "cake" was admitting my need, crying out to God, and seeing my family rally around to help do what I was going to try to do on my own! And we had a wonderful time with our delightful company!

I'm learning that I need to make the SPIRITUAL priority over the TEMPORAL. Thank You, God, for your patience with this weak woman. And thank you for the promise that someday, in Heaven, I will have a clean, peaceful, loving and orderly home, 24/7, forever!

To the glory of God!